Film Fest Picks BIFM, Gay Old Party Outs Itself

Keywords: la erotica film festival, cinekink, cinema, porn, female ejaculation, squirting, squirt, hotel, couples, swingers, pasadena, mayor bill bogaard, star-news, todd ruiz, bonobo, bonobo way, dr. susan block, bisexuality, sex therapy, phone sex, blonde island funk me, orgasmical, vicky vette, bethany sweet, avy lee roth, nude, gay, larry craig, mark foley, ted haggard, d.c. madam, dick cheney

LA Erotica Film Festival Selects Blonde Island: Funk Me!

I am pleased as pleasantly spiked punch to announce the World Premiere of BlockFilms’ erotic political satirical music video, “Blonde Island: Funk Me,” at the first LA Erotica Film Festival 2007 ! “Funk Me” has been "officially selected" to be shown on Sunday, September 16 at 3:30pm in the Boom Boom Room (a.k.a., the Alterknit Lounge) of the Knitting Factory on 7021 Hollywood Boulevard. Get your tickets here.

The LA Erotica Film Festival features Funk Me this weekend!

So, we get to participate in another film festival, this time in our own backyard. The last time we had a movie in a film festival was for the American Premiere of Dr. Suzy’s Squirt Salon at Cinekink NYC (Squirt’s World Premiere was at the Barcelona Erotic Film Festival, but we didn't actually attend). It was fun to go to New York, but it's going to be much easier to roll out of bed and drift down to Hollywood this weekend. And if it’s that easy for you, I expect to see you there! If you absolutely can't make it, then you can just get the BIFM download or watch the streaming video. How’s that for easy access?

Come Join Us for the Screening and/or the Gala!

Of course, the film festival experience allows you to see the movie "the old-fashioned way," on the big screen in an audience, a very different experience from checking a download in the privacy of your own closeted sanctuary. It is also a very bracing event for the filmmaker. Seeing close-ups of myself female-ejaculating on the big screen in Squirt Salon at Cinekink NYC was quite a revelation (talk about Shock & Awe!), especially with my cousin who used to be a nun sitting on my left and a rather traditional old friend from New Haven cringing on my right.

Scene from Funk Me featured in The LA Erotica Film Festival this weekend
Photo: Alex Saglimbeni

Well, the LA screening should be a little less tense, since I won't have any of my conservative East Coast family or friends there (though you never know who's going to show up at your screening in a film festival). Moreover, though there are a couple of artistically presented wide-open beavers shots in BIFM, none of them are squirting and none of them are mine. Still, my sexual soul will be bared, in the cinematic sense, on a public screen, and I expect it to be glorious and horrifying simultaneously.

Just in case you don’t know a BIFM from a bottom,“Blonde Island: Funk Me” is an excerpt from “Blonde Island: The TV Series,” featuring smoking hot Spanish pop singer Orgasmical with luscious porn stars Vicky Vette and Bethany Sweet, plus cameos by Zorthian Nymph Lisa Ann Davis and Avy Lee Roth (David Lee Roth's porn star daughter). Oh yeah, and I’m in it too. So what more could you want? Sex, fun, wisdom, hot nude and half-naked women doing each other while Orgasmical sings “Funk Me,” and then, of course, there’s the anti-war angle. It’s an Island of Pleasure in a Sea of War, a small golden paradise in the midst of madness. So swim out to Blonde Island and Funk Me at the Film Festival this Sunday. I’ll be there with Blonde Island Producer/Editor Mar Sorell as well as some sexy surprise guests from the movie and the Speakeasy. We’ll also strut the red carpet at the gala on Saturday night with all the other stars, movers and booty-shakers. LAEFF promoters promise that “this will be a gestalt of sensory overload….with an event more akin to a three-ring erotic circus than the usual chatter and clatter associated with film festival parties. This year's festivities include acrobatics (aerialists, burlesque performers, human puppets on strings, stilt-walkers and go-go dancers) featuring our cohorts in carnality from Cirque Berzerk, bondage and role-playing from the insidious pleasure-seekers of the Carnival of Pain...the propulsive tribal-techno sounds and decadent visual cornucopia of The Mutaytor, and DJ's Quixotic and Kris Bertrand keep both rooms bumping and grinding all night long.” Wow, these LAEFF guys write longer, more twisted sentences than I do. But it does sound like it could be an amusing evening.

Judging from their blurbs, there will be an eclectic assortment of film festival people, porn people, alt sex people, music people, sexy circus clowns, erotica auteurs and classic porn legends, all sponsored by up-and-coming adult behemoth XBIZ/XFANS. I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m looking forward to playing my part in the cinematic-erotic circus, and I will keep your darling bloggamists posted....

Recent Outings

As those of you who know me know, I rarely go “out.” No, I am not agoraphobic, darling. It’s just that I have so much of what I need for work and pleasure right here at the Speakeasy that I have little need for outings. But occasionally, I do venture out into the jungles of the world and not just to my own film screenings. The other night, I went out in the steaming heat, vainly hoping it might be cooler outside than it was in the Speakeasy, with Michael Blum (Yale ’95) and met up with Lisa Ann Davis (one of the heavenly nude Nymphs of Zorbacchus and of Blonde Island), at a party at Pasadena Star-News journalist Todd Ruiz’s new place where we also met the popular Mayor of Pasadena Bill Bogaard.

Sharing a Beer with Michael Blum and Pasadena Mayor Bill Bogaard

His Honor is a lot easier to talk to than most public servants, and it wasn't long before Michael and I were telling him our brilliant idea for a very special Speakeasy-like “couples hotel,” and mentioned we’re considering locating it in Pasadena, if we find the right building at the right price. Once Mayor Bogaard had prudently established that all of our current and future ventures are completely legal, he kindly suggested a couple buildings in his lovely and venerable town, and even offered to help us find others if those didn’t work out. So, maybe our hotel will be in Pasadena, where the old powerbrokers of Hollywood built their great country estates. Or maybe we’ll refurbish an old hotel right here in the Soul of Downtown LA. Or maybe on the Westside if we can get a good price. Maybe up or down the coast a bit, though not too far from LA, since this will be an urban retreat. Any ideas? Email hotel@blockbooks.com.

With Pasadena Star-News Writer Todd Ruiz & Art Nymph Lisa Ann Davis

Then JJ and I went to the Emmy Nominees Party at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, where we enjoyed good strong Grey Goose martinis, girl-girl kissing in front of nervous Emmy nominees, and a joyous reunion with Shari Cookson, my marvelous Emmy Award nominated director of three out of four of my HBO specials. The next and final party of the night was my kind of “out.” I didn’t even have to walk outside, since it was just across the hall from the Speakeasy at the fine art salon of Mavis P. Kelsey III, in celebration of the birthday of Frederique Jean- Marie Decantos de Mont Blanc. Finally, after five years of cohabiting with sweatshop moguls, we have nice neighbors!

With Fred, JJ & Mavis, wearing our fashionable Moore/Block in '08 buttons

Future Outing: MOORE/BLOCK ’08 CAMPAIGN STOP at IL CORRAL

As all you bloggamists know, I am running for Vice President of the United States on the Frank Moore for President in’08 ticket. I will be joining Frank on Friday Night, Sept. 14 for the ENOUGH! TOUR OF THE MOORE/BLOCK TICKET at Il Corral on 662 North Heliotrope Drive in East Hollywood. Frank’s band, the Cherotic All-Stars will perform, Frank will give a Presidential Campaign Speech, and I will be there to lend my sexy support in the realm of Vice, one of my specialties.

We Get Results!

Chris Floyd quotes Thoreau in his chilling Post-Mortem America, saying "How does it become a man to behave toward this American government to-day? I answer that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it." This is one reason I'm running for Vice President with Frank Moore.

GOP Outings: The Gay Old Party of Overcompensation

Speaking of vice, recent Republican Sex Scandals continue to function as amusing Weapons of Mass Distraction from ongoing Republican fiscal, diplomatic and military fiascos. An intriguingly large portion of these scandals are gay, or, lest we offend those members of the Gay Old Party who prefer to define themselves as “not gay,” let us say that they are “homoerotic.”

Just about all of those GOP public servants caught in the homoerotic act are screamingly homophobic. They also tend to be religious, often active religious leaders with wives and families and huge constituencies who speak out against same-sex marriage and express very little political tolerance for their openly gay brethren-in-desire.

Take Our Man in the Men’s Room, Idaho Senator Larry Craig. He is, he assures us, “not gay.” And who are we to insist he is? After all, he could be bi. The soon-to-be former Senator has got three kids, um, all adopted from his wife’s first marriage. These adult children spoke “seriously” with Craig who stood firm on his position that he was “not gay,” and they believed him, at least enough to go on the talk shows, in hopes of salvaging their stepdad's considerable pension from the proverbial toilet. Craig's tap-dance with the cop takes this scandal-in-the-loo from tragedy to farce, and oh how the rabble loves a farce.

Then there’s former New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard. He’s also “not gay.” At least, he has been pronounced, by his counselor/minister Tim Ralph, to be “completely heterosexual,” which is, technically, even more "not gay" than "not gay." Well, Pastor Ted does seem to have provided the sperm for his five kids. But his sexual relationship with male escort Mike Jones, as described in the book “I Had to Say Something: The Art of Ted Haggard's Fall,” was way too hot to simply cool down, at least not so fast. Pastor Ted was the quintessential hypocrite, preaching that homosexual acts were condemned by God even as he was committing them with a hooker, while snorting meth and grinning that big scary grin. But I must admit, Pastor Ted is so crazily charismatic and so flamboyantly, well, gay, that I'm kind of hoping he "repents" by just admitting he's bisexual (or whatever he wants to call himself). Then his wife can say she's bi too, and then they'll both say being gay or bi is okay with God, and then they'll start a massive mega-church for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, trannies and alt sex lovers in Boulder, Colorado. This could happen! If only...

Former Florida Congressman Mark Foley was also "not gay," at least in the sense that most normal gay adults are not trolling for teenagers. Foley and Craig were both sacrificed on the altar of Republican purity. They were expendable liabilities that the GOP shed, like Agamemnon sacrificed Iphigenia for the sake of strong winds to take his military to war.

And despite the scandals, the winds of war still blow strong in America, under the reign of King George II, the chickenhawk, crotch-stuffed, frat boy exhibitionist who appears to be more narcissistic than gay, bi or straight, but then there are all those unaccounted overnight stays at the White House for gay-escort-cum-journalist Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert. Or was Gannon/Guckert's job to erotically discipline Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove? When you consider Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter and Lynn Cheney's lesbian lit, and, on the darker side, the homoerotic, deeply sadistic twists of all that Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib POW Porn, the whole Bush Crime Family seems as divinely gay and "not gay" as Christmas at Liberace's, or Ernst Rohm's.

Nothing against gays or even closet gays. Some of my closest relatives, friends and favorite people are gay, and some of my best telephone sex therapy clients are closet gays. Of course, the closet gays tend to be the ones who say they're "not gay." And who am I to say that they are? Many of them have decent or even great sex with their wives or girlfriends. But their desire for some sort of carnal knowledge of the same gender occasionally and almost irresistibly asserts itself in various ways, at least in their minds, if not their actions. Their "sexual orientation" is complicated, much more complex than labels like “gay,” or "not gay," "straight,” "homosexual," "heterosexual" or even “bisexual” can convey.

Some of these closet cases are powerful men with sensitive souls leading double lives. Some are hypocrites at the lowest rungs of the ethical ladder, overcompensating for their agonizing discomfort with their own desires for same-sex relations, their own tortured “gayness,” by attempting to punish and humiliate openly gay people.

Closet gay overcompensation virtually ejaculates over the top when these tortured men channel their fear of being sissies into reckless military adventure and expenditure. As more and more stories of furtive man-to-man lust gush forth from our highest offices in the land, it becomes clear that a vast deeply closeted gay "conservative," usually (but not always) Republican network of political and religious leaders has held our nation in its sexual self-hating sadomasochistic thrall for some time. The twist on this Old Boys Network is that they don't actually have sex with each other (they prefer pageboys and hot Tearoom studs), but they do cooperate intimately when it comes to making "muscular" military policies that put other people’s loved ones in harm’s way while flying the flag of some macho ideal.

If you want to stay in the closet, that's your business. And believe me, I cherish and uphold your right to privacy, gay or "not gay." But please don't become a public "servant," to punish the closeted side of yourself, as well as a lot of other people.

Meanwhile, what about the fact that Dick Cheney's phone number is listed numerous times on the DC Madam's phone bill? Is the major media refusing to touch that because it's just "straight" sex? After all, Louisiana Senator David Vitter was only spanked, not sacrificed. Or is it because this Dick is just too big to expose?

BonoboWay.com BETA Phase Launches!

Onto happier news: BonoboWay is rolling! Now you can not only register for our new community site. You can play in it! You can work it, baby. You can create a profile, post at least one photo (any minute now, you'll be able to post galleries), send messages to other members, start up and join discussions, see members’ pics and video links and make suggestions for how we can improve. That last part will be easy, since we are just starting up this community, and our developer/partner Sara Sioux Robertson - Melodramatic Queen, Warner Sister, Star of Speakeasy, the Movie, Glamour-Nerd and BonoboWay Babe - wants your input! So…Talk Beta with Me, Baby…

BonoboWay Developer Sara Sioux Blows the Perfect Smoke Ring
Photo: Suzy . Gold Lamé Gown: Mavis

Don’t know a bonobo from a bonsai tree? Brush up on your bonobo knowledge with our new BlockFilms release The Bonobo Way featuring distinguished and highly entertaining Harvard Anthropology Professor Richard Wrangham and many beautiful bonobos. May I venture to say that it also provides much important informational and inspirational ammunition for bonobo buffs in our current debate with bonobo-bashing New Yorkers and war-loving yahoos. And even if you couldn't give two bananas about the debate, it’s just plain heart-warming to watch those lovable sexual apes. “The Bonobo Way” is now available in streaming video, download and DVD.

And a big warm and cuddly: L'shana Tova, and may all of you who celebrate have a delicious Rosh Hashana filled with apples and honey and a big blow of the shofar.

Coming Soon to Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy:
10/27/07 HALLOWE'EN BACCHANALIA!

Our next springboard to collective ecstasy will be a Halloween TV show and after-party on 10/27. Can one plan for collective ecstasy? It’s true that the best-laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. But we’re laying a few plans anyway, setting the stage and starting to seed the fertile soil with an assortment of special guests, porn stars, singers, swingers, dancers, romancers, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs. This being Halloween, we’ll even require some sort of costume or mask or interesting makeup. The theme is “Come As Your Erotic Persona,” which people are inclined to do anyway at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy, but this is the Saturday night before Halloween, so maybe it will be a little more intense. Maybe even a little scary. More on the scary sides of sex as we get closer to the date…

I haven’t hosted a Halloween event in some time. Last Fall, I was still recovering from my Date with Death; you could say that I was too close to the real spirit of Halloween to throw a damn party about it. The year before, I felt like I didn’t want to “compete” with all the other “erotic” events that clamor for your attention on the Saturday night before one of the sexiest international holidays of the year. The year before that, I was in Cannes (and I cannes’t complain about that). This year, I’m right here at the Speakeasy in the Soul of Downtown LA, a lot more alive than dead, and frankly, I just don’t give a damn about the competition. I feel like having some fun on the Saturday night before Halloween, and why go out? I’m sure that nothing I could go to outside of the Speakeasy would be as sexy and stimulating as whatever we do inside the Speakeasy. Also, 10/27 is Sara Sioux’s lucky/unlucky number. It will be a very special night. So, what about you? Take advantage of the earlybird donation price and make your reservations now.