Kegel Tug-O-War!Posted in The Show
Length: 116:28 minutes Date: 07/21/2012
Here in BonoboVille, we love to celebrate the sexy side of everyday holidays, from Valentine/Lupercalia to XXXmas, Bastille Day, Purim, St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, a Last Supper Seder hot enough to resurrect the messiah and a very memorable Masturbation Month Memorial Day Climax. So imagine our excitement as we discover “Tug-O-War Day”–the celebration of one of the oldest, most primal sports known to humankind: a contest of strength between two individuals or teams, over a rope or other oblong, tug-able item. Actually, it’s even older than humankind since bonobos and even dogs and cats play tug-o-war with branches, food or chewy toys.
So what’s the sexy side of Tug-O-War? If anyone could figure that out, we could, and we did. Thus The Dr. Susan Block Show has become the first (and hopefully not the last) venue to hold a Kegel Muscle Tug-O-War. That’s right–instead of a rope, we use a long double-headed dildo (capped on both sides by Condomania condoms, of course), inserted into two different vaginas. Each participant squeezes her kegels, tugging the dildo in her own direction until the winner tugs the other end out of the loser.
Just in case you don’t know a kegel from a bagel, the kegel or pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle found in both men and women, stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone, supporting the pelvic organs, controlling urine flow and contractions during orgasm. As those of you who know me know, I’m a practically religious believer in keeping your kegels strong and sexy with regular PC muscle “squeeze and release” exercises. Strong kegels help women come more easily and help men control ejaculation. This Kegel Tug-O-War puts those muscles to the test!
Kitty Twinkle Toes: The ever-changing Kitty Twinkle Toes joins us for the third show in a row, this time dramatically clad in a black latex spanking skirt–with the ass cut out—and matching gauntlets. Even though she isn’t exactly sure where her PC muscle is, she’s very familiar with the squirting orgasms it helps her achieve on our Sybian, spurting even higher and more copiously than the two shows before. Kitty is also the gracious “loser” of the Kegel Muscle Tug-O-War, explaining her loss to the media thusly: “My pussy was wetter, so it slipped out.”
Jennifer Best: A virgin to my Womb Room, Jennifer, a lesbian porn star, lives up to her name, harnessing the power of her Kegel muscle to WIN the Kegel Muscle Tug-O-War. She then strips off her black floral panties for Panty Boy, spanks the referee and rides the Sybian into a giggling orgasm. Will Ms. Best go to the next level until she reaches the Kegel Tug-O-War Olympics? Stay tuned….
Amor Hilton: Glittering jewel in the Hilton crown, Amor returns (having wowed us to pieces on her first appearance, in Vanilla Sucks) to help referee the Tug-O-War match. What she doesn’t know is that we spank not only the losers, but the referee also! In a heartfelt moment, Amor says farewell to Hollie Stevens (we actually said it last Saturday, but we’ll say it again and again: We love you Hollie!), and we all share a moment of contemplation for the victims of yet another armed madman in Colorado, reminding us that the Bonobo Way of Peace Through Pleasure is more important than ever.
Ken Marcus: World renowned fine art erotic photographer for Penthouse (in the good old Bob Guccione days) as well as many other publications (including, most recently, a hot photo spread in Taboo featuring none other than Dr. Susan Block Show producer Tasia Sutor and Master Liam), Ken attends the Kegel Tug-O-War as Jennifer’s escort (or would “coach” be more appropriate?). I’ve known Ken since 1993, and Max has known him about 10 years longer. Ever the master, Ken coaches Kitty on her wild Sybian ride through multiple squirts and shudders.
David Bertolino: Writer/producer of the critically acclaimed play, The Deep Throat Sex Scandal, which has been playing Off-Broadway in NYC and is about to open at the Zephyr Theatre on Melrose Avenue in LA, David figures that a Kegel Tug-O-War is a good place to promote a play about the sexual revolution. Plus he gives us pink T-shirts and dolls, so we just might see the play!
R.A. Mihailoff: Best-known for playing the role of Leatherface ( from Texas Chainsaw Massacre III), one of the most evil characters in horror films, this hulk of a man’s excuse for being in BonoboVille is to lend support to his friend David’s play. I love masks of all kinds, but not the kind made from human skin. Despite playing one of cinema’s most infamous murderers, this Leatherface turns out to be a big teddybear with a penchant for hot naked women, and he soon joins in the action, one of my pink ribbons woven stylishly into his beard. Then he gives Amor a spanking, and all the ladies play tug-o-war with his massive arms (which we discover are strangely ticklish).
Faouzi “Faz” Brahimi: After last Saturday’s amazing Jour Bastille, our French friend had to return for more Absinthe and baguettes, though this time it’s Agwa and brownies. Apparently, there is no Kegel Tug-O-War in France, though after seeing Best vs. TwinkleToes, it may catch on.
Weapons of Mass Discussion:
Happy Tug-O-War Day, History of Tug-O-War, Kegel Tug-O-War, Kegel Exercises, Kegel Tug-O-War Should Be An Olympic Event, Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Cannibalism & Sex, Why Some Sexual Terms (Like “Eat Pussy”) Have Cannibalistic Connotations, The Deep Throat Sex Scandal, Bonobo Way, Kundalini Yogi, Strong Kegel Muscles Mean Easier Natural Birth, Ron Jeremy, Deep Throat, The PC Muscle Is Anything But PC
Kegel Tug-O-War, Snake Play with Eve, Spanking, Double-Header Dildo Fellatio, Sybian Rides, Giggling Orgasm, Squirting, Stripping, Agwa Boobie Shots With Penis Shot Glasses, Getting My Guests’ Lipstick All Over My Boobs, Eating JuxLii’s Brownies, Ogling Tasia and Master Liam’s Featured Spread In Taboo Magazine, Playing Tug-O-War With Leatherface’s Arms, Peter Piper Play
Multiple thanks, kudos and orgasms to the Dr. Susan Block Institute Staff here in BonoboVille for making this show possible.