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Archive for April, 2009

Two days after the Speakeasy Seder, we threw a little 17th Wedding Anniversary party around RadioSuzy1. If you weren’t invited, don’t be mad. It wasn’t a big thing like our 16th, just a small private gathering towards the end of our long Freedom Party Weekend, celebrating Max’s newfound liberty and our long-term love affair.

Nothing extraordinary happened, and considering our recent adventures, we had no need for the extraordinary. Of course, just being here at the Speakeasy is pretty extraordinary for Max after 9 wacko months at the Twin Towers Hotel and six bonus weeks in picaresque Delano where he was “processed” like human cheese. Surrounded by friends and supporters, great libations from Agwa, Agavero, Absente Absinthe (do all the coolest drinks begin with the letter A?), we were in heaven. At 11 pm, a bunch of us went into the RadioSuzy1 Studio while others hung out in the Speakeasy Bar, and did a great 17th Wedding Anniversary Show, which besides being a celebration of love and freedom, kicks off with a caller’s riveting mommy-son sex drama. Read the rest of this entry »

On the second night of Passover, the same evening that Obama hosted the first U.S. Presidential Seder in the White House, I hosted a Seder at the Speakeasy. Passover, or (in Hebrew) Pesach, is my second favorite holiday of the Jewish calendar. Purim is my #1 holiday, mainly because Queen Esther is such a fox, a teenage beauty contest winner who saves her people from genocide using her powers of sexual seduction, as my Porn ‘n’ Purim Bacchanal so aptly demonstrates, and the whole Purim celebration is one big party with theatrical costumes, masks, noisemakers, intrigue and drinking so much wine that “you can’t tell the bad guys from the good.” Passover is not as sexy as Purim, but it also features a lot of drinking (four cups of wine) and a different kind of ritual theater.

Passover also features a lot of eating, much of which is symbolic. The parsley symbolizes Spring. The hard-boiled eggs represent rebirth and resurrection (same as the Easter egg). A concoction of apples, nuts, wine and honey called haroseth signifies the mortar that the Egyptian taskmasters are said to have forced the Hebrew slaves to make, from which they fashioned the bricks that built the pyramids. The shank bone on the Seder Plate has an even darker meaning, symbolizing the Paschal lamb that was sacrificed so that the Hebrew slaves could smear lamb’s blood on their doors, letting God “know” to “pass over” their houses on His mad mission to kill the First Born of every Egyptian, including the Pharaoh, as the 10th and final Plague that broke the Pharaoh’s will. I told you it was dark. Read the rest of this entry »

The first night Fatty Delicious, a.k.a. Fatty D, a.k.a. April Flores, came to the Speakeasy, it was like the circus was coming to town! And I’m not just saying that because Fatty has a Big Top.

April is a ton of fun. She is a big beautiful woman (BBW) with what seems to be an equally big heart and erotic appetite. Before the evening was over, all the bonobos at the Speakeasy had fallen in love with her, each in our own personal way. Read the rest of this entry »

Addictions. Gotta love ‘em. Gotta hate ‘em too, sometimes. But first, we gotta love ‘em, or we wouldn’t have ‘em in the first place. Addictions are the spices of our lives. Of course, too much spice spoils the enchilada. But without a little salsa, it’s all just beans and dead meat.

Granted, addiction can certainly be a destructive force, wreaking havoc on your world, but it can also be the source of tremendous creative energy in human life. Sometimes, the only way to truly master something is to become passionately, obsessively addicted to it. Without the driving vigor of our addictions, we surrender to mediocrity, bureaucracy, and (shudder) mere functionality. The world’s greatest artists, many of our greatest statesmen, certainly our greatest lovers, and even some of our greatest scientists have been notoriously addictive personalities, all living and dying in overheated pursuits of pleasure, power, knowledge and love. Read the rest of this entry »